Your head is the last to know.

When you're sitting in the back of an old blue van, looking up at the stars. When your heart starts to beat faster and your body is completely still. In that moment you sense that life is meant to be big and it is meant to be connected.

Your head is the last to know.

When you're praying in a Buddhist temple and suddenly the world falls away. As you get up your body is shaking and deep down you know you are about to move across the world.

Your head is the last to know.

When tears start falling as you listen to a podcast. When you aren't even sure what it is that hit your heart. You have to rewind to find out that they're talking about a place for people who seek like you do.

Your head is the last to know.

When you're on hands and knees cleaning the tomb of a saint. Tears streaming down your face and laughter on your lips. Your heart beats slow and sure, and you know that you are called to clean your own sacred spaces.

Your head is the last to know.

When you're falling for her. When your heart starts racing every time she walks into the room. Your body keeps moving in closer, looking for any excuse to be near her and hear her stories.

Your head is the last to know.

In the moments when your incongruent pieces are sewn together into something bigger. When you become more than the sum of your parts. These moments don't make sense, they never could. This whole experience is far too big for the mind to comprehend.

So eventually you finally begin to let go. You let your heart lead the way and rely on your body to keep you fully present, and accept the fact that the head will always be the last to know when it really matters. 

Take Courage

Richard Rohr told us that the Latin root for courage came from the word for heart. Like we so often do, we made this word small by making it practical. Courage became defined as the actions you took rather than the experience you felt. But really, an act of courage was always meant to be an act of the heart.

And let me tell you, I've learned a lot lately about living out of my heart.

I've realized that courage is found more in the descent than the ascent. It's found in crawling down the mountain rather than reaching the mountaintop. It's found in facing your darkness more than shining your light. It's found most when falling in love and falling apart. Courage is found in the moments that no one ever sees.

Courage is forgetting what you should do and chasing what you must do. It's moving forward because if you don't, you know a piece of your heart will die. Courage is living with a heart that is full.

May we live a life that requires courage.

May we seek situations and people who set our hearts on fire.

May we fight and learn not for a desired outcome, but for love of living.

May we take courage, for courage is ours to take.

Down The Mountain

I went hiking with a dear friend this morning. I had a blast climbing up the mountain. It was hard work, but it was worth it. Climbing up works your body, it challenges you to keep reaching forward, looking at what's to come. Sitting at the mountaintop you can rest in knowing you have accomplished something amazing, you have witnessed something beautiful. The hard part begins when you have to climb down, it's hard on your mind instead of your body. It's the fear of falling.

I think a lot of my life has felt like climbing up a mountain. I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and when the terrain was too steep I would use my hands and crawl. The rocks ahead of me were leveraged to pull myself up, using the future as reassurance as I leave the rest behind.

And it's been incredible. I have had my mountaintop experiences, I have seen and felt things that I will never be able to put words to. I have known all of the light and beauty that exists at the peek of life.

Lately though, I've been climbing down the mountain. That's the painful part. Constantly on the edge of falling. Knowing one wrong step means a painful tumble. Going down the mountain requires bravery.

It's worth it thought. I've realized I can't begin climbing another mountain until I am willing to reach the bottom of this one.

The mountaintop is the most beautiful point, but it is not the most full. Because at the top you realize there is such a long way down, you have so much to lose. It is only when you reach the bottom and look up at all you've been through, the strength of climbing and the courage of falling, then you know that you have conquered the mountain.