Monday, May 23, 2016

You are not bad.

"Bad Luka!", Jaydon yelled at his older brother. I don't even remember what the altercation was, Luka had hurt his younger brother or maybe taken one of his toys, the type of thing that's a big deal for a child. Jaydon's response to being harmed was to tell his brother he was bad. The way their mom stepped in was beautiful, "No Jay, Luka is not bad. He did something he shouldn't have and needs to take responsibility for his actions." They went on to go through apologizing and forgiving with their mom's guidance. It was such a perfect display of loving parenting, I actually started to tear up.

It is so easy to say someone is bad when they do something we consider wrong. That man is bad because he isn't fair in business, that child is bad because they don't share, that girl is bad because she makes money in the sex industry, it goes on an on... We consider these people who we don't agree with to be bad people. The worst part of it all is, oftentimes they will believe it.

Once someone is trapped in shame, they won't fight to change. Shame says I am bad, guilt says I did something bad. While guilt is healthy from time to time, I don't think there is ever an appropriate time for shame. Shame steals our value from us, it tells us we are bad, worthless beings who can never be more than what we are. If I am intrinsically bad or broken, why should I fight for wholeness?

This is, in my opinion, the biggest problem in Cambodia. Yes, there is poverty, trafficking, corruption, all of those things... but I believe that the worst of Cambodia's problems stem from shame. The belief here is that any difficulty you go through is your fault, because you were bad in a past life. It leaves people believing they deserve abuse and poverty. It's the reason someone will be sold into slavery by a family member and not put up a fight, because they believe this is what they deserve for who they are.

Then enters Christianity, this idea of a God who loves a person on an individual level. A God who thinks you are worth creating by hand, each little freckle. This God finds value in you, believing that  you deserve to live life to the fullest in whatever situation you have been given. There is a power within you that is so bright and beautiful that the only way to fully express it is to love others. This idea is so radical that a lot of  people won't believe it, but the ones who do are forever changed.

I'm not saying that converting someone to Christianity will immediately fix all of their problems. Steps still need to be taken toward freeing people. Brothels need to be raided, women need to be trained in a trade, family's need loans to pull themselves out of debt. But far too often the sex-slave whose brothel is raided will go back into the sex-industry because of shame, because she doesn't feel she deserves to do anything else with her life. This is where some Good News is so important.

You are valuable.
You are worth loving.
You are not bad.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. 
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 
1 John 4:16