Today I went out to this village. I am planning to start some programs for the community and we were scoping out the current situation before beginning. While we were there, this woman came to us. She started off just talking, then crying. I couldn't understand what she was saying, but came up to her and put my hand on her shoulder while she cried. She quickly moved on to yelling, and arguing with the other villagers. Eventually the small crowd around us dispersed to get away from the drama. Meanwhile this woman went between crying and yelling for maybe 15 minutes.
I asked my boss/friend to translate what was happening. She told me this woman was upset because she did not have a toilet.
A toilet.
Slowly, the full story began to come out.
This woman didn't used to live in this village, her parents did. I don't know exactly what from, but her parents got very sick. They left the village at some point to find relief from their illness. While they were moved out, the organization I work for had come and built toilets for the villagers. Sometime after that, her parents passed away, and this woman moved to their old home in this village. Knowing the culture here, she probably moved out there because it was the only thing her family owned.
So here's this woman. She lost both of her parents and was forced to move to an unbelievably poor village. She doesn't know all of the people in this village because it's not her home. She's drunk in the middle of the morning and fighting with the other villagers, leading to her being even more alone.
She is angry and she is fighting and she has to go to the bathroom in a hole she dug up.
There are times when someone's pain is so raw and exposed that you can't help but feel it too. I could feel the ache she must feel in her heart. The pain that causes her to push people away comes from the loneliness in her own life, the loss she has had in the past few years has put her into a terrible cycle.
In the end, there are three thoughts I can't to get out of my head.
- This woman needs a freaking toilet. Actually, everyone needs a toilet. It is amazing how much your chances of illness decrease when you have a sanitary place to go to the bathroom. A toilet is a sign of economic development, and it truly is one of the hugest factors in having a healthy life. You guys would be surprised at how blessed you are to have a toilet, to have myriad diseases that you don't even have to worry about because you live in sanitary conditions.
- The people in this village are terribly angry and hurt. They have good reason to be, they were sent out of their homes and treated like cattle. They were left in the middle of nowhere with none of their belongings. They truly lost everything in life. Everything. I think they have forgotten how to live without anger. I desperately want to help them see their value again, I want them to feel safe and let go of the fighting in their hearts and homes.
- Hurting people hurt people.
It all comes back to this, doesn't it? People became corrupt because one man unable to love started a genocide that killed millions. Corrupt government sent people out of their homes and robbed them of their humanity. People robbed of their humanity and value fight for survival, they fight until they don't know why they are fighting. Children grow up in homes with constant fights, and they forget how to love.
And the cycle begins again.
We cannot let this cycle continue, not in this village and not in our own lives. When people hurt us, we must learn to overcome and resist the urge to hurt others. Maybe if we responded out of our love instead of our pain, we could change the world.
I'm sorry this is a little scattered guys, I just needed to let it out. Please, let's move past the pain.
