I lost my faith on the mission field. I saw the devastation of child trafficking and typhoons. My heart broke knowing that there are people who hurt more than I ever will simply because of their birthplace. I realized that they didn't feel god in the same ways I did. I decided that any god who favors me over the marginalized was not a god I wanted.
I found my faith on the mission field. When I went across the world to help and realized I was the helpless one. When "the least of these" were my best friends and I realized I was so much less than them. Everything I was taught to fear, atheists and prostitutes and mentally ill and impoverished, they knew God more than I ever had. I learned that God is the force that always stands on the side of the marginalized and broken, I found that was the God I wanted.
I lost my hope for love in a relationship. I felt used and misunderstood. I decided that no amount of romance was worth being made small. I embraced being single and decided that was exactly what life was meant to be.
I'm finding my hope for love in a relationship. I'm learning that true love makes you more of yourself instead of taking from you, I feel anything but small. I am embracing what it feels like to be seen and known and realizing that life was always meant to be full of love.
I lost my voice when I was a child. In a world of rigid rules I became exactly what was expected of me. I created a life that filled the void in other people's lives. I abandoned myself in the hopes of becoming someone others wouldn't abandon.
I am finding my voice in going back to my childhood. In reliving the moments where I was bruised and bloodied, in remembering the times I fell apart on a bathroom floor. In looking at the memories that hurt the most, I am finding I am stronger than I ever realized. I am realizing I have a lot to say.
I'm learning that we always find what we lost in the same place we lost it.
On days like today when I feel like I am reliving the same pains time and time again, I have to remind myself that I am simply going back to where I was lost. I am not moving backwards, I am healing. The path to healing is a winding road. I am doing the hard work of finding myself again. And even though the terrain looks familiar, I am altogether new.
I found my faith on the mission field. When I went across the world to help and realized I was the helpless one. When "the least of these" were my best friends and I realized I was so much less than them. Everything I was taught to fear, atheists and prostitutes and mentally ill and impoverished, they knew God more than I ever had. I learned that God is the force that always stands on the side of the marginalized and broken, I found that was the God I wanted.
I lost my hope for love in a relationship. I felt used and misunderstood. I decided that no amount of romance was worth being made small. I embraced being single and decided that was exactly what life was meant to be.
I'm finding my hope for love in a relationship. I'm learning that true love makes you more of yourself instead of taking from you, I feel anything but small. I am embracing what it feels like to be seen and known and realizing that life was always meant to be full of love.
I lost my voice when I was a child. In a world of rigid rules I became exactly what was expected of me. I created a life that filled the void in other people's lives. I abandoned myself in the hopes of becoming someone others wouldn't abandon.
I am finding my voice in going back to my childhood. In reliving the moments where I was bruised and bloodied, in remembering the times I fell apart on a bathroom floor. In looking at the memories that hurt the most, I am finding I am stronger than I ever realized. I am realizing I have a lot to say.
I'm learning that we always find what we lost in the same place we lost it.
On days like today when I feel like I am reliving the same pains time and time again, I have to remind myself that I am simply going back to where I was lost. I am not moving backwards, I am healing. The path to healing is a winding road. I am doing the hard work of finding myself again. And even though the terrain looks familiar, I am altogether new.
