We caught up and made small talk, she let me pick the music in the bar. I asked her to show me a song that she loves. She showed me this:
She told me about the lead singer killing himself, she said he did it because of the thoughts. She said sometimes at night, she has the thoughts too. She told me that when that happens all she can do is cry until she falls asleep.
I told her, "me too". I told her about listening to that same CD in my car while I had the same thoughts. I asked her to please stay until she is old and gray.
We spoke about other things throughout the night. She told me about her opening this new bar/brothel because the owner of the old place didn't "respect" her. We updated each other on how each of our siblings are doing as they grow older.
As I left she asked me to pray for her, like she always does when we visit.
And I cried the whole drive home. Because that is all I can ever do- I say "me too", I pray, and then I drive away. Somehow it just doesn't seem like enough anymore.
I'm sorry there isn't a nice little bow to wrap it all up at the end of this one guys. It's just one of those nights.
