I don't know what to title this.

Tonight I listened as the woman next door to me was beat by her husband. I was having dinner at a friend's house. She translated what was going on as we heard every word and every hit through the thin walls. She has been here much longer than I have and explained that if we stepped out to intervene we would be killed. Not only that, but the added tension from us getting involved would have meant the wife would definitely be killed as well. So we sat there. 

I heard from one of my podcasts today that there was another shooting. I looked up the story and was heartbroken to realize the number of deaths and the fact that it was targeting the LGBTQ community. So many beautiful lives were ended out of hatred and fear. 

Meanwhile, I'm living a few miles from an old school that was turned into torture chambers during a mass genocide only 30 years ago (S-21). 

I'm angry. I don't get angry often, but tonight I am. It's not even about me. It's the awful reality that there is so much evil in the world. It doesn't matter what year it is or where you live, humans are destroying each other. There is a sickness here that is exposed when we live out of fear and pride. None of us is immune to it. At one point, each of these people were innocent, helpless babies. More than likely they have each felt love and compassion at some time, but through circumstances and decisions they have become this. It makes you wonder what kind of world we are living in... And whether or not it's worth it. 

I'm sorry to be so dark. I put a high value on authenticity, and in this moment this is where I am at. In the back of my mind I know there is hope ahead, but for now I will grieve.