My name, Mercedes, means "mercies" or "mercy". Growing up my mom and her side of the family called me Mercy, it was always a little endearing and special.
When I first came here, I very quickly realized that "Mercedes" was very difficult for Cambodians to say. "Cedes" wasn't any easier, as the sounds in there are not sounds that their language really has. I realized that I needed a nickname. I told my leader that back home some people call me Mercy, he said that was perfect. People really like the name here. It has become more comfortable to me than my full name, I even call myself Mercy when I talk to myself. (Yes, I talk to myself. Don't you judge me!)
But it got me thinking about the things we do to make ourselves more open to those around us. I'm not talking about being fake so people will like us. I mean letting go of the little things we use to tell the world who we are.
Paul said, "Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!" (MSG)
I think there is something to be said for this, for being open enough to let go of your ego for the sake of connecting to others. There's certain things we use to define ourselves- the music we listen to, the clothes we wear, our political party or religion. Here, those things don't mean the same things to people as they do back home. In the States, if I were to say I was a Christian-Universalist who loved every genre of music but country and only bought used clothes, you would form certain opinions about me. Here, most people don't know what a single one of those words means. You learn to define yourself in new ways.
And it made me realize that we are so much more than the things we use to define ourselves. We are more than our taste or talents, even more than our names. That is all flexible, that will all change. You can be your authentic self while still letting go of most of the things you use to describe yourself. Because we are more. So call me by the name you prefer, define me by my work or religion or ethnicity. I will still be more than that. Sometimes we need to let go of what we are to truly know who we are.
P.S. If you aren't in on the Newsletter yet, jump on it! This has the less emotional, more substantial updates of my life here. Sort of completes the puzzle of this journey.
