Yesterday I went for an early morning walk because I knew I needed to see this sunrise. I was stuck in my head and needed something beautiful to reconnect me to my heart. As I watched the colors of the sky transform I began to cry. I felt so inadequate in the vastness of it all. I knew that never again would the sky look quite like it did in that moment. My heart broke for all the things I am afraid to lose and everything I have already lost.
But I just couldn't look away.
I realized that my desire for beauty is greater than my fear of loss. I cannot stop life from holding pain and risk and heartbreak. I can, however, choose to chase healing and hope and love. There is something about the fullness of this moment. Life will never again be what it is right now and that is both life giving and heart breaking. Somewhere in the paradox of it all is a beauty I can't describe.
So I made a decision, I am not going to look away. No matter how scared I am, even though this moment will never exist again, I will keep looking because I don't want to miss the beautiful things life has given me.
But I just couldn't look away.
I realized that my desire for beauty is greater than my fear of loss. I cannot stop life from holding pain and risk and heartbreak. I can, however, choose to chase healing and hope and love. There is something about the fullness of this moment. Life will never again be what it is right now and that is both life giving and heart breaking. Somewhere in the paradox of it all is a beauty I can't describe.
So I made a decision, I am not going to look away. No matter how scared I am, even though this moment will never exist again, I will keep looking because I don't want to miss the beautiful things life has given me.
