More than 350 times. The Bible says "Do not be afraid" or "Fear not"- literally hundreds of times. It's as if there is this common refrain from start to finish of releasing ourselves from fear, a constant push toward freedom.
Yet we live in fear so often. I know I certainly do. I am afraid that I am not enough. I am afraid of how others see me, I am afraid they will think I am selfish. I am afraid that I can only be loved when I have something to offer. I am afraid I will never be known.
I have come to believe that fear is the root of all evil. We hoard money and things because we are afraid of going without. We fall into pride and shame because we are afraid we aren't worthy of love. We hurt others because we are afraid they will hurt us. The people who do the most disgusting things in this world are simply scared children, afraid they will lose if they stop fighting.
That is the beautiful thing about this Christ story. The idea is that Love came to get down and dirty with us, to get into all our messed up parts. And that Love was so perfect that it drove out the fear. We cannot simultaneously be driven by love and fear, there can only be one. When we choose to let love be the thing that runs our lives, fear can no longer hold the reins.
I have a big decision to make soon about my time in Cambodia and what the rest of that will look like. Truth be told, I am afraid. I am afraid that I will make a choice that leaves other people hurt and angry. But if I can draw closer to the love, I think I can make a decision that brings the most healing, both to myself and others.
Pray for me friends, a time of change is coming!
