I have been wanting to write a piece about the "ex-gay" movement for a while now. The conversation around LGBTQ+ people in Christianity has resurfaced since a famous mega-church endorsed their version of conversion therapy. In case you don't know, conversion therapy is a "Christian" method of attempting to stop people from being gay through prayer, psychological manipulation, and shaming people for their "wrong desires". The rates of suicide and depression within and after these programs are heartbreaking, but they carry on anyway because the few "success stories" they offer give people hope that they can maintain their faith and religious communities if they only change who they are.
Since this movement resurfaced, I have had an influx of emails and messages on social media from well meaning Christians. They tell me I am sinning, they inform me that I am no longer welcome in ministry, and they urge me to leave this "lifestyle of sin". Usually they close the message by letting me know they will be praying for me. Their prayers feel like a hundred little splinters rubbing against me each time I try to come close to them.
But how can I blame them? I used to hold those same beliefs. Before I had done my own deep study of scriptures, I was certain that a hard stance on homosexuality was essential to the Christian faith. I was afraid that if I questioned this, my entire faith and community would come crashing down like a Jenga tower that's lost too many pieces.
I have struggled with how to stand strong in the midst of all of this. I don't want to just lay down and take the abuse or hate that people come against me with. But I also don't want to fight back or attempt to defend myself, because I understand where the people judging me are coming from. I've been asking myself if there is a way to respond that respects them but also allows me to respect myself.
I have found hope in non-violence... the path carried by so many great people that came before me, in MLK Jr. and Gandhi and Mother Teresa and my beloved Jesus. Non-Violence is the beautiful stance of resisting the urge to fight back while also refusing to be beaten down. It requires great courage and a patient heart and above all the deep knowing that we are already holy and wholly made in the image of God.
So here I stand, grounded in knowing that I am already exactly who I was made to be.
I believe that the journey to acceptance calls us to stand strong in who we are. Because existence itself is an act of rebellion when we are told we do not deserve to exist. It is by exposure to our humanity that we can finally be seen, known, and loved for who we are.
Someone recently said to me, "It seems to me that since coming out you're more like Jesus than you ever were... Now you know what it's like to love God and be hated by God's people."
I think they're right. And this is why I won't cut off the relationships with those who condemn me. Because I believe that those who are truly seeking truth will evolve over time. In us LBGTQ+ people embracing our humanity and our holiness they will come to see a reflection of the man who was wholly human and wholly god. And just maybe, we will come into a world that sees queer people as fully included in the Kingdom of God.
Since this movement resurfaced, I have had an influx of emails and messages on social media from well meaning Christians. They tell me I am sinning, they inform me that I am no longer welcome in ministry, and they urge me to leave this "lifestyle of sin". Usually they close the message by letting me know they will be praying for me. Their prayers feel like a hundred little splinters rubbing against me each time I try to come close to them.
But how can I blame them? I used to hold those same beliefs. Before I had done my own deep study of scriptures, I was certain that a hard stance on homosexuality was essential to the Christian faith. I was afraid that if I questioned this, my entire faith and community would come crashing down like a Jenga tower that's lost too many pieces.
I have struggled with how to stand strong in the midst of all of this. I don't want to just lay down and take the abuse or hate that people come against me with. But I also don't want to fight back or attempt to defend myself, because I understand where the people judging me are coming from. I've been asking myself if there is a way to respond that respects them but also allows me to respect myself.
I have found hope in non-violence... the path carried by so many great people that came before me, in MLK Jr. and Gandhi and Mother Teresa and my beloved Jesus. Non-Violence is the beautiful stance of resisting the urge to fight back while also refusing to be beaten down. It requires great courage and a patient heart and above all the deep knowing that we are already holy and wholly made in the image of God.
So here I stand, grounded in knowing that I am already exactly who I was made to be.
I believe that the journey to acceptance calls us to stand strong in who we are. Because existence itself is an act of rebellion when we are told we do not deserve to exist. It is by exposure to our humanity that we can finally be seen, known, and loved for who we are.
Someone recently said to me, "It seems to me that since coming out you're more like Jesus than you ever were... Now you know what it's like to love God and be hated by God's people."
I think they're right. And this is why I won't cut off the relationships with those who condemn me. Because I believe that those who are truly seeking truth will evolve over time. In us LBGTQ+ people embracing our humanity and our holiness they will come to see a reflection of the man who was wholly human and wholly god. And just maybe, we will come into a world that sees queer people as fully included in the Kingdom of God.
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