In Cambodia, I get called beautiful on a daily basis. It's the stranger in the market, the grandma in the village, the TukTuk driver stopped next to me in traffic, it's everywhere. Now by Western standards, my looks are pretty average, and I'm totally cool with that. But here, they think I am a rare, exotic creature. It really got me thinking about how we define beauty based on the culture we are raised in.
I told my friends here that in America some people will sit in the sun or put lotions on their skin to make their skin darker. One girl laughed uncontrollably at that absurd idea, another asked me, "Why do Americans want to look like poor people?". Ouch. In this culture, being dark means you are from a lineage of farmers or other professions that work out in the sun. To have light skin is to distinguish yourself as someone of high status, someone rich and influential. If you see a Khmer person on TV or in an advertisement, they will without a doubt have skin 5 shades lighter than any of the other Khmer folks walking around the city.
So SouthEast Asians will bleach their skin with all sorts of chemicals to try to appear beautiful, and Westerners will give themselves cancer from excessive tanning to try to appear beautiful. How absurd is this? Whatever your skin tone is, it is the most beautiful skin tone in the world to someone else.
It's not just skin though, it's everything. Khmer people always want to touch my curly hair, they think it's amazing and wish they could have it for themselves. Meanwhile, I spent so many hours in high school straightening my hair wishing it had that sleek, smooth look that is so common here. They wish they had curvier bodies like mine, while I look at their petite, graceful bodies and think they are gorgeous.
This isn't just for women, there are double standards for men as well. American girls will ooze over a man with a strong, defined jaw. Whereas Koreans will eye the fellow with a thinner, V-shaped jawline.
We are all desperately wishing for the thing we don't have. Spending countless hours trying to look like something other than what we are. And for what? In an effort of trying to be beautiful in one culture we destroy the beauty that is uniquely our own.
So guess what? You are beautiful.
I don't care if you're tall or short, fat or thin, brown or black of freaking green! You're beautiful to someone, and you're beautiful to me.
