I was sick this past month with Dengue Fever. It was an extremely difficult experience. I can honestly say I have never been so sick in my life, walking even 4 steps left me breathless and weak with my heart beating out of my chest. During this I didn't even have the strength to sit up for more than 15 minutes at a time. I was completely and truly helpless.
And you know what else? I was surrounded by community. Friends who heard I was sick messaged me to check in on me. Others came to my home and prayed for me. One of my dearest friends even brought soup and other foods to help me gain strength again. My roommate checked on me regularly and cooked and cleaned for me for over a week. When I began to recover my roommate even brought a rolling chair into our kitchen because I couldn't stand for long but wanted to be able to get my own food. I was completely overwhelmed at how people cared for me and came alongside of me.
I've always been someone who wants to serve, but was afraid to be served. I usually get into community to be near others, but then keep them at arms length when my own weakness comes up. The people who have surrounded me here in Cambodia have completely destroyed all of the walls I built around myself with their persistent love and caring.
When I first came to Cambodia I realized I needed to learn how to let others help me. Throughout my time here that lesson seems to come up again and again in different ways. I'm learning to not only be okay with being helped, but to love the back and forth of true friendships. There is a beauty to having people who we can lean on in tough times without feeling guilty, and having them feel the same toward us. We are made to live this way, to live in community.
I'm not saying it's easy- it's hard to be vulnerable and expose your weakness to others. But I have found that it is in my weakness that true strength arises. By letting go of my need to be my own hero, I find that I have more people caring for me than I ever could have hoped for. We are more together than we ever could be on our own. That, my friends, is the beauty of life in community.
